UNC's own 'American Horror Story'

FX released 24 teasers leading up to the premiere of “American Horror Story” season six. Only one hinted at the theme of the season, while the other 23 were unrelated and kept fans guessing.

In other words, FX simultaneously succeeded in confusing their entire fan base and wasting money on irrelevant footage.

Advertising apparently works. On Wednesday, Sept. 15, episode one aired with 5.1 million viewers watching, according to Deadline.com.

The theme that made it all happen: “My Roanoke Nightmare.”

In episode one, a couple buys a farmhouse in Roanoke, North Carolina to escape the crime of Los Angeles. After the wife gets creepy vibes from the house while her husband is at work, the husband invites his ex-cop sister, Lee, to stay with them. Lo-and-behold, Lee doesn’t trust her sister-in-law about the spooks, until she experiences the otherworldly not once, but twice, because who would believe in the supernatural after only one interaction?

I can agree with this from experience. I didn’t believe in Santa until he brought me the fuchsia Spectraflame II Sweet 16 Hot Wheels model I asked for.

I only identified Lee by name, because she’s the only character we care about. Lee has an endearing “I’m-just-a-kid-and-life-is-a-nightmare” attitude in her early 50s, giving us all hope that we, too, can stay forever young.

Lee’s blatant dislike and rude witticisms toward her brother’s basic wife place her in our favor. Most importantly, Lee is a UNC alumna with a degree in criminal psychology — the perfect candidate to combat spooky spirits, because we do that every morning, fighting off the devils that make us snooze our alarms for the 15th time.

Why would Lee, as a UNC alum, be a great addition to a horror show?

Drinking from the Old Well might not guarantee a 4.0, but as the water flows through our veins, we become emboldened with decades of our ancestors’ arrogance that we are undoubtedly the best and can conquer any enemy. Yes, Duke, but also vengeful spirits living in an old farmhouse.

Unlike other AHS seasons, season six is set up as a crime documentary. There are interviews with “real” people and reenactments with “actors/actresses.”

Actresses Adina Porter and Angela Bassett both play Lee — Porter plays Lee in interviews and Bassett plays Lee in reenactments. Like UNC students who are conditioned to fight the terrors of too many responsibilities every day, Porter and Bassett aren’t new to horror, as both are returning to AHS.

Porter played Sally Freeman in “American Horror Story: Murder House” in 2011, but is more notably known for her roles as Lettie Mae Thornton on HBO’s “True Blood” and as Kendra James on HBO’s “The Newsroom.”

Bassett has starred in an AHS installment every year since 2013. She’s also known for her biographical film roles, including her Academy Award nominated performance as Tina Turner in “What’s Love Got to Do with It.”

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