Kvetching Board for Oct. 14, 2016

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Dear Smoker’s Advocate: I’m not sure what you’re eating, but my lunch doesn’t come with a surgeon general’s warning. I’m also concerned you don’t really understand “toxic chemicals.” Or trees. Sincerely, ConcernedChemist

To the girl from the third floor who left a metric ton of expired candy in the first floor lounge: you’re the worst specimen to ever walk the face of this planet.

Note to fraternity groups for Halloween attire on Franklin Street this year: Start stocking up on sensible dark blue dresses, pearl strands, blond Annie wigs and those formidable horn-rimmed no-nonsense glasses impervious to LGBT issues.

There are no sports gods.

I need to stop thinking in text abbreviations TBH.

To honor the UNC Football team’s last-minute victories this season, I will not begin studying for any of my midterms until three minutes before they are scheduled to begin.

It should be illegal for teachers to make papers and midterms due on the same day. How can you expect us to do more than one thing.

PEOPLE ARE STILL BLOCKING THE SIDEWALK WITH THEIR GODDAMN TRASHCANS. LET’S DO BETTER.

RIP Swimmy Carter, the DTH’s office fish.

Is it Fall Break yet? Is the election over with? Is school over with.

boyz drool

Why are Mr. and Miss UNC so heteronormative. Tar Heels, you can be a popular student without restricting yourself to a gender binary. Maybe create something new — like crowning a UNC majesty.

Why isn’t there a space for pets on campus? There is a flagpole for smokers literally harming themselves, why not a gathering place for dogs?! WHY NOT, CAROL.

To the person who looks funny in my class, stop looking funny.

My professor was trying sooooo hard not to rant at a pro-Trump student in my class today. You should have done it.

I feel bad for every sane Republican in the world.

I could do homework, but I could also go to Open Eye and chat it up with the local bands.

To my feminist theory classmates: you’re great, but please try to keep the snapping to a minimum in our 9 a.m.

Is it normal to be so sleepy that you can’t manage to swipe a debit card for the coffee you need to wake up?

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’