A psychic reading of 2017

This article was going to be about what psychics have to predict about 2017, but it turns out that psychics want you to pay them, as though the shackles of capitalism still bind you when you’re astral projecting into the Akashic Records.

via GIPHY

Almost definitely not, but it’s the thought that counts.

I tested my skills by dealing a hand of Tarot for myself, but every card I dealt was The Fool. Flipping over the rest of the deck frantically, I discovered all cards were The Fool. I’m not sure what that reading means, but the cackling of a mad jester has been haunting me ever since.

The tarot reading for 2017 was a simple three-card spread. To perform one, you have the questioner shuffle the 78-card deck (22 cards from the Major Arcana, 56 from the Minor), ask the questioner to cut the cards with their left hand while thinking about their question and then pick your spread. The rest is turning over your results and interpreting them.

Confession: I did all those steps myself, as 2017 is an abstract concept and cannot shuffle the cards itself.

The first card in the spread represents the past; forces that were once prominent and are now fading away. The card drawn was The Fool in the reversed position, a card that represents naiveté and foolishness. It suggests that the querent has difficulty looking ahead. The questioner might also be acting restlessly with a complete disregard for its action. “Acting recklessly” feels like a mild way to describe the absolute garbage fire that was 2016, but I guess it’s not inaccurate.

The second card in the spread represents the forces impacting the querent in the present, and was The Devil in the upright position, which is... ominous. The Devil represents negative forces that bind you and cause you to focus on a single situation, preventing you from growing and changing. He is the darkness within all things: malice, addiction and fears are all under this card’s purview. A sense of hopelessness often accompanies the card (for good reason).

The third card represents the future, and was The Lovers, also in the upright position. Upright, The Lovers represent harmony, perfection and the ability to come together and overcome struggles in unison. Perhaps more importantly, the card represents choices on a grand scale: a moral crossroads where your choice will have concrete and definite ramifications.

Of course, the cards don’t actually dictate the future, but if this reading inspires you to take action and make the year you want, then it was a success.

This will not be an easy year. This will not be a benevolent year. So go out and become the change you want to see, knowing that The Lovers are watching over you. And hopefully, we’ll have a chance to do this again in 2018. Fingers crossed.

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