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The Daily Tar Heel

A Veggie Tale for the ages

Lauren Zitney had a poem written for her about kale.
Lauren Zitney had a poem written for her about kale.

The sophomore was sitting in the Undergraduate Library at the end of last semester when she encountered a unique situation.

While packing up her things, Zitney was approached by a mysterious man who slipped a piece of paper into her hands.

It was a poem about the leafy vegetable kale — he told her that he noticed the kale sticker on her laptop and decided to write her a poem.

Zitney told him she’d treasure it forever — and she truly meant it.

She decided to look up Kale Guy when she got back to her room, but had difficulty making out the name etched at the bottom of the paper.

Zitney eventually made a Facebook event page titled “Find Kale Guy” with the hopes someone could help her identify the mystery man who gave her the poem.

She said her family and friends have been supportive in her unbe-leaf-able quest, with her grandma being particularly supportive.

Sophomore Marc Brunton gave Zitney the idea to make the Facebook page.

He said he recently saw the popularity of parody event pages involving the “Bee Movie,” and figured it would be a fun way to attract attention in searching for Kale Guy.

“I hope a really cool friend comes out of this for her,” Brunton said.

Zitney said all she remembers is that Kale Guy likely has brown hair, and was wearing a flannel at the time of their interaction — something that’s not a rarity on UNC’s campus.

She said she mainly wants to hang out and become friends with him first.

When he saw the Facebook page, senior Nathan Owens decided to do a little research of his own on what may be the most romantic veggie tale of all time.

Using the two photos Zitney posted in the Facebook event of the poem with Kale Guy’s signature at the bottom, he began by typing names into Facebook and the UNC directory after seeing Kale Guy’s signature.

Zitney said Owens spent several hours searching, using the results of the directory search to make a database to search more efficiently.

“Unfortunately, I didn’t find anything,” Owens said. “This guy is really elusive.”

He tried searching name combinations that started with the letter “J,” possibly Jonah, Jake, Jack or even Josh with a last name that has two Ts and likely starts with the letter “L.”

Many following the page have offered up possible suggestions, but so far there have been no concrete leads.

Regardless of the outcome of her quest, Zitney said she loves when whimsical and wacky things happen to her.

“One of my favorite things is when my life is like a movie,” she said.

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@MariaMullis2017

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