Kvetching Board for March 24, 2017

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

If you are going to bury your head in your phone walking across campus, don’t blame me when I buzz your tower on my bike.

Hey March, become two months. Because between student work, March Madness and return/leave/break social schedule, I just can’t...

Hey Lord, warm it up please. Spring Break tans are fading, and I need masturbation material.

Man, this winter break seemed a lot shorter than the last one.

The SBP election going to a runoff because nobody got 50 percent is yet further proof of the inconsequentiality of the office.

Seeing as I got in an argument with my dental hygienist about House Bill 2, I’m kinda glad to be back on campus.

The globe sculpture in front of The Daily Tar Heel has two Africas instead of a South America. Because obviously the Southern Hemisphere is all the same.

Enough with the reflexive contrarianism, sheesh!

Show some love for flashlights on smartphones.

The class b4 mine always leaves notes on the board & today one bullet point said “sexy coconut farms.”

A girl is gnawing at corn on the damn cob at 9:34 a.m. next to me; please deliver me from this supremely unique hell.

I’m terrified of those spinny things in front of Davis going away; I’ve become very attached to them.

I asked out a girl through the kvetching board a few weeks ago, and she said yes. Thanks print journalism!

Obligatory “why isn’t there a closer Cook Out” kvetch.

The best #GDTBATH is the day when it’s a #BDTBAD (bad day to be a d00kie).

I sometimes feel like all of my friends just assume I go home, put on “Mad World” and journal about Marxism in front of a rainy window. Honestly, I wish this was true.

The “Golden Girls” BuzzFeed quiz said I was a Dorothy when I am clearly a Rose.

When I first heard of the food truck rodeo in Chapel Hill, I assumed it would be a real rodeo like from my hometown. It really wouldn’t be my first time at a rodeo — but I’m glad I was mistaken. Wot in food transportation!

Mandatory attendance for out-of-class events shouldn’t affect our grades! I can’t help that I have a job that I unfortunately have to like, work, every day of the week.

I miss my dog more than my family, is that bad?

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line "kvetch."