Kvetching Board for April 21, 2017

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Classic d00k fan kvetch, talking about how much everyone is talking about them. Those are some big words for a school that forgot which Carolina they’re supposed to lose to.

To the Duke fan who kvetched “Duke wins those championships often,” please learn how to count before you brag to us Tar Heels. Duke has 5 and Carolina has 6 or 7 depending on how you count: end of story.

Sen. Burr is on campus this week, and the administration and Burr’s office kept it secret and invite-only. #shady #townhallplease.

I saw a grandma posing for a pic with a little baby in a UNC cheerleading outfit IN FRONT OF SILENT SAM. If this doesn’t signal that we need to move the confederate/racist/super imposing monument, I don’t know what does.

Hey, piano man. You know why Billy Joel sang that song? So you don’t have to on campus. Buh-Bye.

Finals week. Graduation. Let the anonymous pent-up pity sex begin. Please?

Chi Psi, rocks tumbling from your rock wall are blocking my path.

Ladies, I know how you feel. Construction worker yelled out to me about my big beard the other day. My eyes are up here!

In my day, bar golf meant 18 bars, 18 beers. Kids today are soft.

As seen on a statistics test: “As the coolest of your friends, you decide to use a two-tailed Z-test to catch the frat boy in his hubris.” Watch out frat boys — math is coming for your ass.

Can someone please explain why Meatball Marinara is the $6 sub of the day on Sunday but $5.50 every other day?

Same with Black Forest Ham on Saturdays. What kind of shady deal is this, Subway?

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line “kvetch.”