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The Daily Tar Heel

Quick Hits for April 20, 2017

Go Patriots!

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It’s very fitting that America’s evilest man received a jersey from America’s evilest NFL team. The Patriots bestowed upon President Trump his own personalized jersey, and we’re pretty sure the helmet they threw in won’t fit his head. Let’s just be grateful that Trump hasn’t ruined baseball yet.


Zoom zoom zoom

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We’ve seen so many statuses from our friends lately about how it’s a miracle that they haven’t been hit by a bicycle yet. We were them, once. Then we got bikes! We can bike from Carrboro to class faster than the bus. Do you realize how much power we now hold? Walking is now cancelled — at least until our tires go flat.


Hibachi bitch

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Franklin Street lacks an affordable hibachi restaurant. Why are we getting another pizza place? The cheap hibachi grill is a college staple that is missing from all of our lives. On that note, what about a Korean BBQ place? Or a shitty Italian restaurant (that doesn’t have pizza) where everything’s smothered in cheese?


Ivory key league

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The many decorated pianos that embellish the walkways throughout our campus have brought many a smile to our faces. We saw someone recording a bona fide cover of “No Diggity” on the piano outside of Hanes Art. We’ve also seen children play songs just for curious passersby. The arts are magical.


Bye bye, Justin

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Justin Jackson is pulling a Justin Timberlake and leaving NSYNC — we mean Our Boys. Right after announcing that he would enter the NBA draft, he got engaged. We wish Justin and Brooke all the best for their future together. The down-pointing thumb is just indicative of how much we’ll miss you.


Sam got sprayed

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Silent Sam got sprayed again. The Confederate monument was vandalized with the message: “Love is understanding why others hate.” To us, love is understanding that this statue has been harmful for years and the best way to prevent future vandalism would be taking it down for good. #BlackLivesMatter.