You Asked for It: In which we have a fun fall break and Derek might be in peril.

Perry Carter (Medium Rare) and Derek Fulton (Well Done) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You: Dear Perry, 

First, are you by chance related to President Jimmy Carter? Second, all my friends are going out of town to cool places for Fall Break, but I have to stay in Chapel Hill. Is this going to be the most boring half-week of my life?

Sincerely,

Peanut Farmer Fanboy

You Asked For It: It is funny you should ask! I am related to President Carter, but only distantly. Although, I’m told that we have the same teeth and mannerisms.

Now to your fall break-related issue: I’m here to tell you that I have been there. My first year of college, it seemed like everyone I knew was driving off and catching flights to exciting, new locales. Whereas, I spent fall break at home in Raleigh with my mom telling me to stop getting garlic bread crumbs on our couch. Bleak, I know. 

I think the reason my first-year fall break was crummy had more to do with my attitude than where I was. I have gotten really wise in the last three years, y’all. 

Any place can be a vacation destination if you 1) determine what its fun qualities are, and 2) let those be your guide! 

Look, just because Chapel Hill-Carrboro is where you go to school and spend most of your days doesn’t mean you’ve seen everything.

I’ve included below a list of Chapel Hill spots that, to their credit, are diamonds in the rough. If you make sure to bring an open mind (and a medium-weight sweater) with you to these places, you’re going to have a surprisingly great week:

1. Aliments de Lion

This is a full-service fine grocer located at 602 Jones Ferry Road in Carrboro. Known for international delights at competitive prices. Ask the clerk (who should be wearing a tie) about becoming a member of the store’s elite “MVP” rewards club.

2. Le Métro

A storied sandwich establishment that is recognizable by its yellow and green décor. Diverse selection of breads, and the vegetables are usually more green than brown!

3. Rent-A-Centre

I mean, you have been talking about getting a Sony Bravia for your place in Townhouse.

You: Dear Derek,

Where are you? 

Love, 

Perry

You Asked For It: Hi Perry, 

This is Emily, you know, the editor of the opinion desk and You Asked For It. It’s funny you should ask where Derek is, because I don’t know where he is either. 

Maybe this is the first in a Carmen Sandiego-style series of mysterious columns with hidden clues for readers. He could be all over the world! Or maybe he’s sick with the strep throat (again). Or hanging out with that 16-year-old British teenager (again). 

Derek, if you’re reading this, we’re looking for you, and we care.