You Asked for it: In which we give you a Halloween themed mad lib

Perry Carter (First Citizens) and Derek Fulton (Wells Fargo) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You: 

Halloween was so fun last night! Give me more themed content pls!

Ya boi,

H. Randy Whipporwill, UNC Class of 2019 

You Asked For It: Randy, 

Lovin’ your enthusiasm! Here’s a festive mad lib for you:

The Best Halloween Column Ever 

Last night I wrote the most _________ Halloween column! The InDesign file was delivered by ____________ and told me to go to the deep dark DTH and _________ all the way to the very top of the spooky __________. I __________ the door code __________. 

My friend __________ answered the door dressed up as _____________ and said “______________!” There were _________ different costumes, including _____________ ghouls and mummified Carol Folts. 

The editors typing were loud and ___________, so I ______________ until my __________ hurt. 

There were also delicious treats to __________, like pizza and Diet Coke and Coke Zero, but my favorite part of the party was the pumpkin _____________ and bobbing for Pantanas. 

I can’t wait until next week’s column — it will be even more ______________!

Reese’s peace out!

(Email us your submission and maybe YOU can give us advice.)