The last few weeks have been filled with quite a few “lasts.” Last Duke-UNC game as an undergrad (eh, let’s forget that one). Last compilation of the literary magazine on campus for which I serve as editor-in-chief. Even more daunting are all the lasts coming up in the next few weeks and months. Next week, last spring break. Apr. 24, LDOC. Yes, I am on the way to grad school this fall, so school isn’t necessarily ending, but undergrad and all of its one-of-a-kind experiences are.
A little overwhelming. Okay, a lot overwhelming. I can get really sentimental thinking about all the things about undergrad that have a nearing expiration date. I keep hearing from other people (mostly adults), “You’re allowed to have fun now. It’s senior spring!” Unfortunately, I am one of those people who seems to still be caught up in my to-do lists, as if it were junior year and my GPA determined whether or not I would get to write an honors thesis.
They’re right: now is the time to try to enjoy what little bit of undergrad is left. I have always had a problem living in the moment. I am a constant worrier, as I have written about before, and I often resent pressure to participate in certain activities/traditions just because it’s the thing to do at a certain point in life.
I can’t help but feel like I can’t. I definitely have felt the notorious “senioritis” multiple times already this semester, but it’s usually cancelled out by those old, creeping anxieties.
I do want to say to other seniors who might feel like they’re struggling to enjoy themselves that I think it might be normal. Whether you know what you’re doing after graduation or not, senior spring is allowed to be a stressful time.
Yes, you should do everything you can to enjoy these last beautiful months at UNC, but it’s also fine to not give in to any pressure to “enjoy yourself” when you still feel like there’s so much to get done.
I’m not saying shirk off all the wonderful events to come, like Bar Golf or the Bell Tower Climb. I am saying if you feel overwhelmed, it’s really, really normal. Right now is the busiest time of the semester, so it’s okay to not give into senioritis, if that’s what helps you sleep better at night. And it’s also okay to give in.
No one should tell you how you should be enjoying your last semester at UNC. If this semester is anything like my previous ones, I am sure it’ll surprise me. And I am looking forward to the moment I realize how much I have been enjoying myself without even noticing it before.
