One of my favorite games I like to play at the beginning of every school year is, “How long can I ration the five remaining pads I have left in my bathroom before I have to drop a whole 10 dollars on a new pack?”
Excessively complaining about my irritating period problems to my less-than-willing friends is another school-time favorite of mine, and I suggest others partake in this. I find it freeing to unload all of my menstrual concerns on to others, especially those who don’t experience it themselves.
In fact, there are lots of other ways that I like to initiate my menstrual cycle into the new school year. I invite any and all to partake in the following:
- When preparing for that time, make sure to forget that you even are a female woman who can bleed and neglect shopping for supplies. That way, when the time comes, you’ll be in a mad dash to find a pad or tampon because they’re not made readily available for anyone. Yay!
- It is very crucial to allow your friends and family to blame all the concerns you have during that week on the fact that you’re just going a little period crazy, as it is 100 percent truth that emotions are never valid when one is menstruating.
- If you’re an avid pad-wearer and you’ve found yourself complaining about the discomfort of having to sit in a lighter version of a diaper, remember to have a really good excuse for never having tried tampons, because only an insane person would deny herself the simple joy of shoving a foreign object up into herself.
- Force yourself to go to class through the worst cramps of your life. If you’ve reached the point where you’re not sure if there will be negative consequences from taking so much Aleve, you’re better off forgetting about comfort and just plain survival. Taking care of your schoolwork and catering to the needs of others who could never possibly understand the pain you’re going through is more important than taking care of both your physical and mental health. After all, it is a woman’s fault for having a period.
These are just a few of the fun activities that help me feel refreshed and ready to jump into the new year. I always like getting back into the mindset of having to juggle the responsibilities of my rigorous courseload with making sure I’m prepared for that treasured time of the month.
Every time I get my period I’m reminded of the fact that I have to pay for menstrual products, and when I feel the anger well up deep inside of me, I just remember that I’m already too tired from all of my responsibilities to rebel in any kind of way.
With that, I wish everyone a happy year full of healthy menstrual cycles.
