Editor's Note: This column contains major spoilers for Grey's Anatomy. The editor who wrote this note wishes she knew that sooner.
Picture this: a late-night sugar craving leads you on a groggy quest to the pantry, where you unearth the holy grail: an unopened box of Oreos. You cradle the treasure under one arm and head back to your bed, eager for the culinary adventure that awaits. One Oreo leads to another and before you know it, half the plastic underlying the left sleeve of cookies has been exposed. “Maybe just one more,” you reason. But it doesn’t end up being just one more. You finish three-fourths of the box and lie there, stomach bloated, crumbs strewn across the comforter, wondering how you got where you are and what on earth you’re supposed to do next.
This scenario is a metaphor. Each serving of Oreos (Two cookies? Life is a scam.) represents another season of Grey’s Anatomy and you, dear reader, are the television executive who doesn’t know when to stop.
When Grey’s Anatomy first aired in 2005, YouTube was a month old, George W. Bush was president and the iPhone wouldn’t be released for another two years. Ah, a simpler time. Today, the show is on its 15th season and I, a once-devoted fan, have reached my breaking point. Half of the original eight main cast members are gone, many after being killed off, but others after declining to renew their contracts. When actors themselves can accept that they’ve hit and passed their prime while show producers remain in denial, it’s a major red flag. On top of that, each season brings new characters and tragically, too many of them (read: the entire new intern class) play insignificant, superficial roles. Not to mention the fact that Derek Shepherd is dead. That last point could stand alone in my defense that the show mustn’t go on; have you SEEN the guy!?
The least excusable of my incredibly sound (and objective) grievances is the realization that the show’s plot twists blatantly repeat themselves. There was O’Malley’s fatal car accident and then Derek’s fatal car accident, Izzie’s untimely death which left Alex widowed and Derek’s untimely death which left Meredith widowed, Meredith finding out she has a secret sister and Meredith finding out she has another secret sister (seriously?), Alex’s violent outburst followed by his arrest and Webber’s violent outburst followed by his arrest…need I continue?
Grey’s Anatomy isn’t the longest-running network television show by a long shot. Law and Order, for example, has aired more than 19 seasons and is still going strong, but shows like Law and Order are as successful as they are non-binding. I can go from Season 6: Episode 14 directly to season 9: Episode 4 because each one largely stands alone, with an independent storyline and a new trial to follow along with. Grey’s, on the other hand, requires an immense intellectual investment. What producers seem to be missing is that in the 14 years the show has been around, viewers have aged! We no longer have the mental capacity to keep up as doctors hop from fling to fling, then back to the first fling, then, wait for it, back to the second (looking at you, Dr. Owen).
More than anything, I wish that they’d stopped while they were ahead. Seasons one through eight were raw and captivating, with one original, albeit unrealistically dramatic season finale after another. Once they hit season 11, specifically with the aforementioned Death of Derek, it became clear that writers and producers were running out of steam. It’s on us, as viewers, to stage a much-needed intervention. I refuse to sit around as producers recycle tired storylines and kill off beloved characters. The time has come to put the metaphorical Oreos down and demand more from Grey’s Anatomy - or in this case, less. Specifically, like four seasons less.
