When I told my mother that I would be writing a column about sex and sexuality, she asked me to write under a pseudonym. My sister said I, “brought shame upon our family” (weird wording for a seventeen-year-old, right?) My roommate, on the other hand, responded excitedly, “I’m going to be living with Carrie Bradshaw!” Well, as much as I’d like to have the "Sex and the City" star’s shoe collection (which rivals that of Brandon Huffman), I decided to write about sex to expand the conversation Carrie began twenty years ago.
"Sex and the City" premiered in 1998, following four New York City women on their quest to ‘have sex like men’, that is: as frequently as desired, without social consequence and for pleasure. Okay, so quick check in: how are we doing on that?
Well, this summer, "Bachelorette" star ‘Alabama Hannah’ justified herself on national television by declaring “I’ve had sex... and Jesus still loves me.” A bold claim from a native of a state that doesn’t require sexual education in public schools. Nicki Minaj publicly called for women to “demand orgasms” in bed. However, good sex should be an expectation, not a demand. Nevertheless, I’m glad someone’s bringing up female pleasure. More on that later.
When my friends and I go to Cosmic Cantina, we fill the small space with tales of our recent sexual endeavors, questions and ideas. I apologize to everyone in the vicinity who did not want to know if coconut oil can be used as lube (that’s a no-go, by the way).
The point is, sex is everywhere. The way we talk about sex and sexuality is both a byproduct of our society and a tool that can be used to shape that same social structure. So, let’s talk about it, people! What sexual preconceptions and double standards are we still perpetrating? How do the sexual experiences from people of different identities and identifying factors compare to one another? What’s the history of our current attitude about sexuality? Can we all finally admit how great masturbation is?
As I explore these questions and themes, I aim to be open and honest, cognizant of privilege and experience and nonjudgmental. Look, I don’t know Jesus well enough to report on his love life, but I can promise that I, at least, will still love you no matter what your sexual history is.
