Elevate: South Asians need to forget 'What will people think?'

Aashna Shah is UNC Sangam's Secretary of External Affairs

Editor's note: This article contains references to suicide and mental illness.

"Log kya kahenge?" What will people think? 

This one question has set the social construct for so many South Asian families. It has determined socioeconomic class, gender, religion, ideas and beliefs. This one question hinders so many people from being themselves, because they are afraid of defying societal expectations. 

This one question is also the reason so many South Asian children hesitate to open up about their mental health to their parents. They are taught throughout their lives to be perfect and only do things that society would approve of. According to some parents, having a mental illness can be shameful, so they are told to suppress their feelings. Conversations about mental health are on the rise, especially amongst our generation; however, in South Asian households, it still seems to be a taboo. 

The COVID-19 pandemic has not made any of this easier, because people who have generally had stable mental health are experiencing signs of depression, anxiety and loneliness. With the burden of not even being able to fully open up to your family and then experiencing all these new feelings, it is difficult to know if what you’re feeling is even okay. Sometimes, you feel trapped. 

I personally have gone through this feeling as a South Asian. I started developing feelings of anxiety in the middle of the quarantine without even realizing it. It was not until I came back to school that I understood my emotions were stemming from anxiety.

Growing up, mental health was not discussed much in school or with my parents, so it was hard to identify what I was going through. I always internalized everything and had no outlet to let those feelings out. I felt ashamed about not being okay. 

When I finally talked to my parents about it, they never once told me that what I was feeling was wrong; however, that is not always the case with others. Without my parents even instilling the thought of, “Log kya kahenge?” it was already in my mind because of the stigma that society has created around mental health. 

Over the past few years, I have seen so many South Asians come out and share their experiences with mental distress on social media in an effort to create a community. They have fostered a safe, open space for those unable to go to their families directly with their issues. Mental health awareness has skyrocketed recently as more people realize mental health illness should be looked at the same as a physical illness. 

I am proud to be a South Asian in this generation, constantly striving for social change within our community. The stigma around mental health in South Asian cultures has resulted in many people taking their lives because they cannot stay trapped any longer, and there is a dire need for this mindset to change. It is time to stop thinking about “log kya kahenge” and to start thinking about oneself. 

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, so please take time out to check up on your friends and family, as they do not always have someone to turn to. One last thing to remember is that it is okay to not be okay. 

The National Suicide Hotline phone number is 800-273-8255.