The tools we use for dating and intimacy — apps like Tinder and Grindr, video-chat platforms like Zoom — have existed long before the pandemic started, but their usage has shifted drastically. Bumble has experienced an 84 percent increase in video call volume and longevity, and the adult platform OnlyFans has reported a 75 percent increase in sign-ups, a number likely to grow as more people turn to cybersex work in the wake of COVID-19 layoffs.
In the wake of these increases, we need to have a conversation about how we can make our digital sex lives safer.
From a general perspective, the shift towards virtual interactions seems pretty great. You can flirt and engage in cybersex from the comfort of your own home (which sounds futuristic, even though cybersex has existed since the dawn of the internet).
No more awkward dates at bad restaurants; no more endlessly swiping left only to be disappointed by them IRL; no more having to head back to your date’s crusty, shoebox-sized dorm room (if they happen to live in Craige).
Finally, you can lounge around and feel sexy in peace, without all of the anxiety, sweat or having to Uber home the next day.
However, as more people put their bodies online, users are at an increased risk of harassment and sexploitation. Cybersex trafficking, and hotlines like the UK-based Revenge Porn Helpline, have experienced a documented rise in cases.
Sex workers in particular, some of whom rely on platforms like OnlyFans for their livelihoods, are at an increased risk of harm, like being doxxed or harassed. To make matters worse, there's only been one government-sponsored COVID-19 sexual health memo explicitly directed towards sex work at all.
Cybersex is real sex, but navigating the waters can be tricky. As we reimagine intimacy and sex during the pandemic, below are a few strategies to keep in mind based off of comprehensive sexual health and safety resources.
