Editor's note: Certain members of the Editorial Board do not like candy corn and wished to express their opinions publicly. In the interest of free speech and rigorous debate, the comments of our resident anti-candy corners are compiled here.
Savannah: Candy corn, much like oatmeal, Olive Garden and listening to Ed Sheeran, is something I often circle back to annually, totally forgetting how much it sucks. It is nasty. It is wretched. It tastes like car wax and crusty frosting. It makes my throat burn (not too dissimilar from strep throat). Candy corn is neither beast nor burden, neither corn nor candy. I would rather go to the house that gives out brittle granola bars and tiny bottles of Dasani than candy corn. I would rather go to the house that has razor blades in the candy apples. Also, candy corn is problematically eternal. If I gave you a single kernel of candy corn that was 70 years old and one that was fresh from the factory, you would not know the difference. How does it feel knowing that when we return to Earth, when there is a time after humanity’s collapse, candy corn will still exist?
Caitlyn: The problem with candy corn is that we have been socialized to like it. To defy candy corn is to defy the entire fall season, which is simply not true. Its image is a symbol of the Halloween season, it is a staple at Halloween festivities and it is put in the baskets of trick-or-treaters. Yet, it cannot compare, in flavor or texture, to any other seasonally appropriate candy choice.
Raj: I’ll cut candy corn some slack — if you only have one or two pieces, maybe it’s bearable. Past that, there’s not much else going for it. Candy corn, at its core, has an unseemly waxy but hard texture, and the artificially sweet flavor (and absolute lack of nutritional value) does nothing to make up for it. It is only made up of a few ingredients (mostly just sugar and corn syrup). There’s a very obvious reason why its sales stagnate past October — it has no merit other than the fact that it has been continuously associated with the autumn season. The time to collectively admit that candy corn is not worth fawning over this time of year is upon us, and I’m more than happy to take the lead.
Anna: Candy corn brings nothing to the table. You have so many options for Halloween: fun-size chocolate bars, those orange Oreos, pumpkin spice galore. Why on earth would you go for something with the texture of clay and the flavor of stale icing? Who hurt you?
Layla: Candy corn is not accessible to those with dietary restrictions. As a vegan, I am unable to enjoy candy corn because it contains gelatin. Although there are a few vegan-friendly candy corn alternatives, being unable to eat the most common brands of candy corn makes me unable to provide a proper assessment, and therefore, I have no choice but to be anti-candy corn. It’s 2020, and it’s time to be more inclusive. Get with it.
