A week ago, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. This discovery sent me into emotional shambles and I began to struggle to complete basic everyday functions.
My distress was evidenced by the fact that, the day after I found out he cheated, I put my cereal in the fridge and my milk in the pantry. I also cried profusely throughout my hour-and-fifteen-minute sociology lecture and ate an entire bag of Doritos while watching "Someone Great."
However, after a couple days of this, I decided that enough was enough. I needed to reintroduce structure to my life, so I came up with a multi-step guide on how to cope with a breakup.
Step One
Text his friends. Or, even better — his roommate. Do I need to elaborate? Imagine asking him to leave his own dorm so you and his homie can hang out. Cause chaos.
Step Two
Join a sorority (or a fraternity) and turn all 200-something members against him. Trust me, your siblings are fiercely loyal and they will definitely hiss at him when they pass him on the street. If you don't want to go Greek, no worries. Any non-Panhellenic organization that meets on a weekly basis is the perfect substitute.
Step Three
Follow all his favorite male celebrities. If he saw no issue with liking Sommer Ray’s cheeky bathing suit photos during the relationship, surely there’s no harm in following Miles Teller after it ends. Besides, "it’s just a like. Quit being so insecure."
