Farewell Column: I am not an editor

During my introduction to this year's editorial team at the fall retreat, Emmy made it clear, “Makayla is NOT an editor. Do not go to her for editing.”

While she was being serious, it eventually became a joke that has been tossed around numerous times in the newsroom because I really am not an editor. I haven’t written one thing for The DTH in my four years on staff, except a photo caption. I joined The DTH my first year looking to get involved with the school I went to but didn’t physically attend.

I was stuck at home because of COVID-19 and was desperately looking for a way to connect to UNC. After seeing a post in a parent's Facebook group, my mom encouraged me to join the student newspaper. At first I stuck my nose up to it because yeah, I can write, but not journalistically. It’s either a yap fest or an academic paper, no in-between.

Then she pointed out the possibility of joining the photo desk. That peaked my interest a little bit more, but the imposter syndrome started creeping in. “You haven’t taken any photo classes.” “You have no idea what you are doing.” “All of those people over there are better than you.”

I eventually got the self-deprecating thoughts to calm down long enough to apply for and be accepted onto the photo desk. I stayed with the desk from my first year to my third year. It allowed me to learn how to work with my camera that I had gotten during high school in ways that I never knew — it allowed me to meet people I never would have met and have experiences I never could have imagined.

However, even with everything the photo desk offered, I was tired of it. As I was getting near the end of my junior year, I knew that I was stuck in a vicious cycle of ‘get photo assignment, complain to self about assignment, do assignment, feel relieved, and start the cycle again.'

I didn’t want to leave The DTH because I wanted to be able to say that I stuck with something for the entire four years that I had been at UNC, but didn’t know where I could go. I wasn’t interested in writing stories and frankly didn’t know much about the other desks.

Then one day after a HNRS 201 class I was the TA for, Emmy Martin approached me. She told me that she was going to be the next editor-in-chief for the paper and heard that I was interested in DEI efforts.

I had no idea what was coming, but I was immediately excited about whatever she was about to say and leaving the photo desk the following year.

When she asked, “Are you interested in being the DEI coordinator next year?” I wanted to fill out the application right then.

A few conversations with Emmy and an application later, I became the new DEI coordinator.

While I had been working with the newsroom for 3 years already and had DEI experience, I had no idea what this year would have in store. Sitting at my desk in my room writing this at 12 a.m., if I told the me of May 2023 all about what has happened in this position, she would laugh hysterically.

Navigating the fast-paced newsroom coupled with the stressors of being a student and being the president of my sorority, I had to juggle a lot. To be completely honest, I have no idea how I am still in one piece right now (well, maybe I’m not…but that’s a conversation for me to have with my therapist).

And remember those self-deprecating thoughts from my first year? Yeah, they are still here, they just look different. But, working in the newsroom has made me realize that I cannot rush everything that I want to happen. Sometimes I literally just can’t. And that’s OK. I cannot do everything someone else is doing because I am not them, and they are not me.

Although this is the first thing I have written during my time at The DTH, I can walk away from the newsroom at peace with what I have done for student journalism. I know that I have created memories, safe spaces and planted seeds for the people that come after me to thrive and make The DTH a better place. 

@dthopinion | opinion@dailytarheel.com

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