I hadn’t toured UNC before I committed. In fact, I hadn’t even been to North Carolina.
Clearly, I didn’t plan on coming to UNC. Once I got accepted, I placed the school in the back of my mind as an option but never gave it too much thought.
What I did plan on was leaving Kentucky. It was home, sure, but I wanted a change. A do-over. In a haze of anxiety and frustration, Chapel Hill was apparently where this change was going to happen. I impulsively committed to this school. Me, the girl who makes pro/con lists and overthinks her every move, decided that this was the moment for spontaneity.
I didn’t fully realize the gravity of my decision. I spent the summer before my first year full of excitement. I was picking out classes, chatting with my future roommates and imagining this picturesque life I was bound to have. But the second my family left me alone in Hinton James Residence Hall, I wanted nothing more than to be back in Kentucky.
UNC wasn’t home. Chapel Hill wasn’t home. North Carolina wasn’t home.
What was I thinking?
Homesickness took over like I never expected it to. I was on a flight home for every break and every well-being day. I was calling family during every waking moment and as each day passed, I felt more and more regret about my decision.
It’s a lot being an out-of-state student, especially when most of your classmates aren’t. Your friends and roommates are going home every other weekend to visit their families. They have mutuals and friends from high school and they hadn’t needed to pack their entire life into a suitcase.
I made one spontaneous decision, and I was miserable.
I made up my mind and didn’t truly give Chapel Hill a chance — until this past year. With my classes and work, I had to be here. I couldn’t make a quick escape to my hometown whenever I felt like it.
And the more and more I stuck around, the more and more I wanted to be here. I loved my 15-minute walk to campus from my apartment and the plethora of coffee shops to fulfill my caffeine addiction. I even managed to stay in Chapel Hill long enough to see the beautiful hydrangeas bloom all over campus.
I was miserable not because Chapel Hill couldn't be home, but because from the moment I stepped on campus, I decided it wouldn’t.
Though Chapel Hill will never replace Louisville, KY, it’s taken on a different version of home. This home has my family that I created, the career and academic opportunities I chose for myself and the little newsroom above a coffee shop that gave me an outlet from school.
Whether Chapel Hill was your dream school or if you say “I don’t know,” when people ask why you chose to come here — make this the home you want it to be.
I never knew how that spontaneous decision I made in my senior year of high school would impact me. But this rising college senior version of me is grateful for it.
