Biz Markie - "Just a Friend"
Biz Markie has one important lesson: Don’t believe anyone who says they just have a friend. Biz Markie learned the hard way, when that “friend” turned out to be quite friendly with his girl. But it is obvious why she took a pass. Let me break this down for you:
1. Biz wanted to ask her some questions to see if she was “a hundred proof.” Nothing gets me going quite like comparing me to alcohol. I guess this girl named, “blah-blah- blah,” just didn’t feel the same.
2. He “came to her college on a surprise visit.” Being a stalker is never good, especially when the girl is trying to let you down easy (albeit, failing at it). Come on, look for cues man.
3. As he raps, “I arrived in front of the dormitory/ Yo, could you tell me where is door three?” you have to wonder if “blah blah blah” wasn’t feeling him because he can’t even find his way around a building.
More importantly, his lyricism isn’t exactly poetic and he definitely isn’t dropping sick lines. Instead, he throws down, “She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra.” Clearly, “a small waist and a big behind” was already taken and he couldn’t come with anything better to describe this chick’s curves.
If that isn’t bad enough, Biz hits us with this stellar rhyme: “Oh, snap! guess what I saw?/A fella tongue-kissin my girl in the mouth/I was so in shock my heart went down south.” His heart was so broken by the end of this epic tale that any semblance of rhythm completely disintegrated, not to mention his story-telling skills blow.
Of course, most of us only remember the chorus, so we can easily forgive these fatal errors, but can we really let him get away with his annoying whining voice on the chorus? I think not.
He definitely blew his chances with blah blah blah and me.
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