When I told my friends this year I had never been to the N.C. State Fair despite having lived less than an hour away from it all my life, mouths dropped, eyes popped and sounds of utter shock were exerted.
“It’s the best,” they exclaimed. “We’re taking you this year!” So I went, and I can safely say that if I never, ever return, I’ll be satisfied.
One of the main problems I have with the State Fair is that there are far too many people. If this makes me sound like an antisocial and hateful person, so be it. Driving to the fair, the traffic on I-40 was horrendous and trying to get out of the parking lot at the end of the day was even worse.
Inside the fairgrounds, the human traffic proved to be a problem as well. There were numerous times during that day at the fair that I was unable to move because I was completely surrounded by hordes of sweaty and presumably bloated fair-loving souls. It was claustrophobic misery.
The fair attractions themselves are utterly unethical and disgusting. I saw numerous booths and tents set up boasting a live miniature horse or some animal missing a number of limbs inside.
A large number of the workers at the fair act incredibly misogynistic. The male operators of certain games yell at passing women, with guarantees of prizes, regardless of whether they can shoot rifles well or throw rings on bottles. The prizes are always a hoot — who hasn’t always longed for a giant stuffed banana with dreadlocks and Rastafarian apparel?
Many State Fair fans argue that the different foods available for purchase are some of the best parts of the entire experience. In all fairness, I cannot completely disagree with this. Just knowing that you have access to fried food that you didn’t even know could be fried is exciting. (Fried Kool-Aid, anyone?) I tried my first fried Oreo this year and, although it was exceptionally delicious, I couldn’t help but wonder if I paid five dollars in order to have a heart attack at 18.
Yes, my lack of adoration for the State Fair might lead to threats of disownment and banishment by my fellow North Carolinians. However, in order to express my honest opinion about my experience at the fairgrounds, I’m unable to give a ravishing review.
Some might find the impermanent amusement rides exhilarating instead of deathly frightening, and some might have seen the booth offering flu shots as helpful instead of disgusting. To each his own, I suppose. Nonetheless, my first time at the N.C. State Fair was nothing short of a bust. When next October rolls around, I’ll probably stay home instead.
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