Buns are no longer reserved for the ballerinas. Recently (to the delight of Vikings everywhere) many men have been growing out their masculine locks. But what should men do with this thick, shoulder length hair? Tie it up away from their face, perhaps? HUZZAH society is thus graced with the man-bun.
The man-bun is diverse. It’s revolutionary. It’s a way to rebel against the system without any consequences and save the cost of detangling spray. But the man-bun’s major source of power: the execution.
The TOPO
Top of the Hill? No, top of the head! This man-bun is incredible. I mean, it's defying physics — gravity doesn’t even apply here. It’s practically floating. This man-bun says, “I’m top dog. If gravity can't touch me, then GOOD LUCK to anyone who tries to hold me down.”
Jonathan Olivares — Pantene
The Swan
It's beauty and it's grace, it's Mr. Bunited States. This bun has the curve of the elegant neck of a swan. It stands straight up, challenging gravity. Don’t get me wrong — this bun isn’t all sugar and spice. Just like a swan, it has some attitude. The defiant tufts at the top tell us that this bun is strong willed. If you look at it the wrong way, it may just take flight and flap its deliciously shampooed wings in your face.
Austin Moses — Suave
The Maestro
This is fine art. Claude Debu(n)ssy. Rembunt. This man-bun says so much with just a little bit of hair. It’s abstract. It’s challenging. This bun elicits a different reaction from everyone, and that’s its entire goal. Does it make you question everything you’ve ever known to be true? Good.
Eric Wilbanks — Aussie
The Commander
Woah. This bun means business. That hair is thick and healthy. Its middle-ground placement says “I’m not here to show off, but I’m not going to bury my head in the sand either.” Cutting through The Commander with a pair of scissors would be an impressive feat. But I hear that the mere sight of this man-bun is so intimidating that scissors literally run screaming from it.
Chris Silver — Lush (honey shampoo)
The Maverick
When Natasha Bedingfield said “release your inhibitions” this man-bun said “wait…you have inhibitions..?” This bun is WILD. No time can be wasted on getting hair to stay in its place; that distracts from the present. This bun defies all preconceived notions of the elegant curve of the traditional bun with its rebellious presentation. It’s theme song is Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen with an appropriate twist: “tramps like us, baby we were born to bun!”
Beau Lyons — Pantene
The Eagle’s Nest
I feel sure this man bun houses secrets that we as outsiders could only dream of. Wrapped up within its swirling curls have got to be the answers to some deep philosophical questions. What’s the meaning of life? Spend enough time searching the thick, expansive recesses of The Eagle’s Nest and you might just find out. We all know the Pretty Little Liars theme song all to well: “Cause two can keep a secret, if one of them is this man-bun.”
Tobias Harris — Herbal Essences
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