I don't know a lot about politics. I know that Jay Pharoah does a funny Ben Carson impression and that Barack Obama is 6'1" (Michelle is 5'10")!
I do know how to get elected. Not to brag (unless it gets me a job) but I was fourth grade class president.
All I remember about my campaign is that it involved a poster and my parents really wanted to help out with it.
I think my classmates voted for me out of fear — I used to roam halls asking the other kids who they liked, so I had a lot of dirt on them.
I would never wield this information against my playground pals. I just had a thirst for investigation. It is that thirst that made me the pseudo-journalist I am today.
Anyway, UNC senior Noah Lieberman is running for N.C. House of Representatives. We can only hope he is as successful as I was in fourth grade.
— Kelsey
QUICK HITS
- The Powerball lottery, a $2 tax on hopeful people, has reached a $1.5 billion jackpot.
- David Bowie graced the Dean Dome stage twice with his profound talent and weirdness. Some dads who were there reflect on it.
- Chapel Hill-Carrboro City Schools is the largest certified organization in Orange County to pay all full-time and part-time employees a living wage. No jokes! Just yay!
- Sudden resignations. Groundbreaking discoveries. Educational reform in the Middle East. Is this another episode of a Shonda Rhimes epic? No! It's this week's edition of UNC system happenings.
IN THE CHAPEL HILL-CARRBORO BUSINESS VERSION OF SURVIVOR
Fitzgerald's and Los Potrillos are out. Meatball Kitchen and another sports bar are on their way in. No word on who has the immunity idol (mainly because this newsletter is not sponsored).
IN UNIVERSITY NEWS
UNC Student Stores has more than just Daddy t-shirts. The grand opening of the pharmacy is today.
IN THE BLOGS
For those of you still in the dark about the lottery you might actually win (although chances aren't much better tbh), here's exactly how to sign up for the UNC basketball lottery.
IN CONCERT NEWS
Waka Flocka Flame has already been at Cat's Cradle two nights and has one left. Even though he hasn't come to see me yet, I am dedicating the rest of this newsletter to him by writing it with no hands. u7uyhyf rrtikkohn bnjuko
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