Over the years, I did a lot of things in elementary school to warrant getting the "Danny seriously please not this again" look from my teachers. I undermined my first grade teacher's authority on incorrect nature facts when she tried to feed us lies. I sighed and told teachers I'd already read the books they wanted to read to us. I hit a girl with a banana once.
But more than any other problematic tendency, I was that brat who told all my peers Santa wasn't real. Partially out of obligation to out him as a highly organized and professional fraud but mostly because if I can't experience the blissful magic of childhood ignorance and wonder, 7-year-old me will be damned if anyone else gets to either.
I've made astonishingly little character development in the past decade.
— Danny
QUICK HITS
- For all of us who haven't stepped foot in a dining hall in the past six months: Carolina Dining Services apparently has "PLUS swipes" now to buy food at Wendy's and the Rams Head Subway.
- UNC officials said they're still discussing the five demands that activists delivered last month to change campus. The proposals included adding a Ph.D. program in the Department of African, African American and Diaspora Studies and cluster hiring to increase the number of black faculty.
- A 600-apartment complex could be moving in to replace Chapel Hill's American Legion, an organization that aims to support veterans and their families.
IN WINTER BREAK-INS
People just don't commit break-ins like they used to :/ Last month, the Chapel Hill Police Department found a 24 percent decrease in break-ins over winter break when compared to 2014. Police credit increased patrols. I credit our coverage of it in this newsletter.
IN STATE NEWS
If North Carolina doctors perform an abortion after 16 weeks, they have to send an ultrasound from the patient to state officials. The policy, effective Jan. 1, also increased the waiting period for abortions, meaning an individual who travels to another city for an abortion could need to make accommodations for a full three days rather than 24 hours.
IN HOLIDAY NEWS
For the other 11 months of the year, Santa's a real estate agent. Or at least the Santa at the Carolina Inn. He told us there are professional organizations specifically for all the Santas and Mrs. Clauses in the area, and they get together for workshops and Christmas movie-watching. So Santa isn't just an innocuous beacon of joy for your impressionable kids — he's a dirty unionizer.
IN STUDENT STRUGGLES
Coming back from studying abroad is rough for a lot of people. Counseling and Psychological Services and the Study Abroad Office say they try to help students with a range of problems, from struggling academically to coping with intense FOMO. Both of which, I can assure you, can be experienced without paying thousands of dollars to go to another country.
IN THE BLOGS
Eating food from Ms. Mong on Franklin Street is a sensual and spiritual experience, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's like the Mongolian barbecue version of Chipotle, if you need help visualizing (or understanding why I feel so strongly about it). They also play some bomb TV like "Jeopardy!" and "Chain Reaction."
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