I found my alter-ego, and she also identifies as a "social media goddess"

State officials recently came really close to OK'ing a month-long hunting season on American alligators. It was the closest to a bad decision North Carolina has come in, like, the past week and a half.

And I'm actually arguably qualified to say that. Why?

I'm not trying to humble brag, but you're looking at the 2007 gold medalist in Science Olympiad's herpetology event. Because in lieu of doing sports or having friends or being interested in normal things in the sixth grade, I placed No. 1 in the state for fun facts about lizards and stuff.

And then the Science Olympiad committee told me I couldn't compete nationally because my team as a whole was too awful to qualify. But it's fine. That's fine.

— Danny

QUICK HITS

• We asked random people in the Pit what they're planning on doing for Spring Break, and some girl's getting her jaw broken. What weird crap are you doing? Tweet it at me to get me through class today.
• In an attempt to maximize free speech, North Carolina's lieutenant governor is proposing an act to prevent protestors from interrupting meetings.
• Joe Parrish, who graduated from UNC in 2014, is running for a seat in the N.C. House of Reps. We talked with him about asexuality, his views on education and time spent in the ROTC program at UNC.
• We found the UNC administration version of me, and her name is Deseré Cross. Check out her advice for #branding and also follow her on Twitter.

IN SPORTS NEWS

Our sports desk has created a burn book of UNC basketball's potential ACC frenemies. Virginia has a second-ranked scoring defense. Notre Dame has two of the ACC’s top-20 scorers. Clemson made out with a hot dog, allegedly.

IN HERPETOLOGY

It's a good year to be an alligator in North Carolina. Officials have shot down a proposed hunting season that would've helped make problem alligators stay in their lane. So while they might've escaped whatever a "bang stick" is, North Carolina's gators will now have to contend with something much scarier — the bureaucracy of a task force.

IN UNIVERSITY NEWS

Jillian Murray, a former UNC student, has been waiting three years for closure in her sexual assault case. She filed a lawsuit against the University for mishandling her case, which the University failed to have dismissed earlier this month. UNC has until April 5 to appeal to the N.C. Supreme Court.

IN THE BLOGS

We have an in-depth analysis of the many faces of Ted Cruz. He's a Texas senator. He's a U.S. presidential hopeful. According to 10 percent of Florida's voters, he's the Zodiac Killer. And according to 100 percent of our newsroom, he's a 45-year-old version of Grayson Allen.