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The Daily Tar Heel
Having It All

#Sincere: Quitting something is not losing yourself

They tell you college is all about trying new things, but they don’t tell you how to quit the ones that don’t work out.

Since August 2012, I have been in a sorority. I have made some of my most wonderful friendships and memories there, but the time I have spent in that building with those people has come to an abrupt and difficult end.

It has hurt me in unique, intimate ways that are hard to vocalize. Losing a sisterhood that was supposed to be "(mine) for a lifetime" because they refused to celebrate and support my success with me cuts so deeply.

I’m here to talk about a bigger issue, though.

Quitting is hard, and knowing when to quit is half the battle. There is no honor in ill-timed or passive quitting due to apathy.

When you quit something, you must leave no fine unpaid and no project incomplete. But even with a clear conscience, having the strength to say “this isn’t for me” is incredibly difficult and mature.

You have to be your own advocate. You have to be the one to stand up and say that your time is valuable and you should fight for it. You owe it to your present mental health and your future self to assess your heart and your goals and walk away from things that don’t align with them.

It often blows people’s minds that someone who is virtually the opposite of poise and femininity could be in a sorority in the first place.

I think part of why I loved being in a sorority so much is because it let me defy everyone’s expectations. That’s something my sorority helped me learn about myself that I will take with me forever, and for that I am grateful for my time there.

I love the old playset from my childhood, but I can’t fit in it anymore. That doesn’t mean it has to be a tough memory. I just grew out of it, and now I’m more interested in different things. Any bumps and bruises it gave me will fade with time.

Life changes and you have to change with it, and that means letting go of things you once loved (no matter how many T-shirts you got out of it).

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