When I was 8-years-old, Hilary Duff was my celebrity crush.
I might have told people that it was Justin Timberlake because that was more “acceptable” or whatever in our heteronormative society, but it was totally Hilary.
After school, I would check Duff’s website everyday for new items — tour dates, blog posts, etc. Duff’s CDs were always at the top of birthday and Christmas gift lists. And I would mark Duff’s birthday down on my calendar (September 28), only five days after my own.
And after dinner most nights, I would pop Metamorphosis into my CD player and sing all 13 songs, including “So Yesterday” and “Come Clean,” as loudly as possible to an audience of about five water turtles — my pets at the time — in my bedroom.
This is how Duff got her start for me. Lizzie McGuire was cute and all, but Duff’s music career is where she really came into herself (i.e., that’s when she got edgy layers and bangs).
When I was 8-years-old, I had just gone through a pretty big move from New Jersey to Charlotte, North Carolina. My mom, little brother and I had just moved in with my soon-to-be stepdad and his two kids. I started at my fourth elementary school, and I was just starting dance classes for the first time. Being 8-years-old wasn’t a simple time for me, and that’s why I needed Hilary and her angst-filled pop lyrics, like this one from “So Yesterday”: “If you’re over me, I’m already over you. If it’s old and done, what is left to do? How can you hang up when the line is dead?”
In all of her albums, she sang about self-empowerment, and she sang to her haters with the teen angst that resonated with me as a prepubescent girl going through a big transition. And it wasn’t just me: Duff validated the angst-ridden, depressed thoughts most girls who were struggling with their identity and with coming of age at the time had. For me, as a quiet kid who didn’t talk much and who used to hear the “cool kids” in fourth grade making fun of her long, tangled hair and baggy pants behind her back, Duff was exactly what I needed.
But after four albums over five years, Duff took a (much-needed) sabbatical from the spotlight. Her last album, Dignity, was released in 2007, and after that release, Duff quietly returned to a so-called “normal life” forever.
OR SO WE THOUGHT.
Y’ALL, HILARY TOTALLY PUNKED US, AND NO ONE WAS PREPARED.
See, following her separation in early 2014 from her soon-to-be ex-husband Mike Cormie – who Duff has one child, Luca, with — Duff decided to re-enter the music scene.
To be honest, I had forgotten about Duff. Like an ex-friend, I would occasionally remember my time with Duff, go “Oh yeah, that happened: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” and shake it off, TSwift style. A part of me was bitter she had left her music career, but most of me had just thought I had outgrown her, that I had gotten everything I needed out of her.
So when Duff released her first comeback single, “Chasing the Sun,” in July 2014, my reaction was similar: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Then came “All About You,” and I didn’t respond because, to be honest, I didn’t even know that that single had come out until I started writing this story, so there’s that. Duff wasn’t singing about her feelings; she was singing solely about her new flings and a little bit about how they made her soooo happy. It didn’t feel genuine.
But then came “Sparks,” whose music video shows Duff on a Tinder date with some guy at a bowling alley. And “Sparks” eventually turned into the first song of Duff’s long awaited fifth studio album, Breathe In. Breathe Out, which was released June 12.
Now, pretentious hipsters of Carrboro: If for some reason you’re still reading this, let me try to reason with y’all. I was once one of you. I am still kind of one of you. But even if you hate pop music on principle or even if you despise Disney stars because they’re just a part of a larger, faceless American corporation that is out to destroy children’s souls, you will get something out of this album.
This is Duff’s post-divorce album. She sings to her haters (Mike Cormie). She sings about self-empowerment in almost every song. And most importantly, she’s sings about her own genuine feelings.
For me, this album came as I was (and still am) dealing with a messy break-up that just won’t seem to go away. Many people listen to this album and go “Hilary, who hurt you???” I get that. In one song, Duff is singing about hooking up with a new fling and in the next she’s singing: “I made a top 10 list of all the things I miss / Your lying eyes and lips, they didn’t make it.” She’s kind of all over the place, and that’s what is so great about Duff and her new album. It’s raw and messy, just like anyone would be following a divorce.
Hate her or love her, I don’t care. But you should respect her. Duff is unapologetically raw and genuine, which is what Top 40 pop music has been lacking, with the exception of Taylor Swift.
The Duff is back, y’all. Bow down.
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