The infamous "Puppy Monkey Baby" from Mountain Dew Kickstart's Super Bowl 50 commercial will live in our memories long after the highlights of the actual game will — unfortunately. The shock factor of watching an amalgam of random animals jump around was designed to attract attention, probably.
But I think Mountain Dew could have really gone the extra mile with this ad. I think the shock factor could have been increased twofold if Mountain Dew executives had chosen more obscure animals than just dogs and monkeys.
So I came up with some alternatives. I would have loved to sketch these for you, but alas, these kinds of things are best left to the imagination.
Rammigator (Ram + Alligator)
The Rammigator has the body of an alligator, covered in a ram’s white coat and sporting horns. If UNC was ever moved to Florida this would surely be our new mascot!
Porcupenguin (Porcupine + Penguin)
The Porcupenguin has the body and typical colors of a penguin but he has spikes instead of feathers! This unique creature attracts the lady penguins with his cool spikes but, sadly, he can’t slide around on the ice like his regular penguin friends.
Octonarwhal (Octopus + Narwhal)
The Octonarwhal is an octopus with a unicorn horn on the end of each tentacle. This funky-looking guy can’t get many places without his horns getting caught on everything.
Zebraturtle (Zebra + Turtle)
The Zebraturtle is a white turtle with black zebra stripes. He’s the most fashionable reptile on the block!
Squirgoose (Squirrel + Goose)
The Squirgoose sports the body of a Canadian Goose and the tail of a squirrel. He likes to hang out by trash cans and freak out every time someone walks by. The Squirgoose is always a campus favorite!
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