Do you hate cake? If yes, this should be good news: the new fad “Raindrop Cake” is literally not cake.
Developed by Darren Wong and inspired by traditional Mizu Shingen Mochi from Japan (I don’t know—it’s what the website said), raindrop cake is all the rage for those few lucky marine creatures that eat jellyfish.
Just kidding. Apparently this cake is for human consumption. It looks precisely like one of those creepy clear blobs that live in tiny colorful shells on the beach. It also looks like a dead jellyfish.
This delightful glob is a vegan alternative for those of you who do not feel comfortable eating REAL creepy-clear-blob-animals from the beach. It sort of serves the same purpose as “Tofurkey” or soy nuggets. All options give you a little thrill for pretending to eat normal food, but we all know that you really are not!
The Raindrop Cake is made out of water and agar, which is for vegans who can't eat gelatin for some reason. So as to make the smallest carbon footprint possible, the water used to make the cakes is gleaned from the tears of vegans all over the world who have been crying over animal cruelty and petting zoos. They are also probably crying because they are extremely protein deficient.
Next time you are hungry for some dessert, why not eat water instead? Raindrop Cake is very aptly described, when you stop to think about it. Why shouldn’t a ball of water be called cake??? Ha ha I drink cake all day! I am so gluttonous!
Another sweet treat of this cake is that if you eat it, you may or may not turn into a blob fish! Enjoy!
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