With Tim Burton’s "The Nightmare Before Christmas" playing in the background, Disney classic "Halloweentown" recorded and the new season of "American Horror Story" on stand-by for when I actually wanted to get scared instead of delightfully amused, I think I’m ready for Saturday.
My costume is hanging in the closet (I’m going as Rosie the Riveter, 1940s feminist icon for the win!) and my room all decorated (I’ve got a pumpkin in the corner...okay, I could probably do with some extra decorations) the only thing left for me is to sit back, relax, and let the big day come.
Whether you're going to Franklin Street to enjoy the chaos revelry, or staying in with your friends and watching some “scary” movies, this Halloween is sure to be a big one with Friday prep night and Sunday as a buffer against the workweek (and any potential hangovers).
I for one, am going trick-or-treating. I'm small enough to pass off as a high school freshman with a baby face bright enough to charm Moby Dick. So I plan to go door-to-door and con some old people out of their candy.
Unfortunately, some people just want to watch the world burn. And those people — cough cough, the old man in 3B — like to put little baubles in your pumpkin instead of candy.
Having been on the receiving end of one too many plastic spiders, I've complied a list of the most annoying, but somehow still charming little Halloween goodies:
Glow sticks: I don’t know what it is about glow sticks that gets people going, but those fluorescent neon tubes have a home at almost every college event on campus — raves, dance marathons, late night parties, you name it. They're annoying because they're not candy, but they glow in the dark, so that's cool. As long as you don’t start chewing on the things, I think you’ll make it through this Halloween without any (medical) scares.
Rubber eyeballs: These little balls are just maliciously good fun. They’re rubber so they tend to stick to the things they land on and my favorite part is watching to see how long it takes for them to fall down. Bonus points if you stick on a friend's back and watch them scramble around trying to find it. Triple bonus points if it falls off before they find it.
Plastic spiders: You know what I'm talking about. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Those things get everywhere — in the couch cushions, your sock drawer, your early morning cup of coffee — but they're kind of cute. Kinda.
Pumpkin face clementines: This is one of the classic “healthy” options for helicopter parents and PTA soccer moms (toothbrushes and mints being the others). Although handing kids clementines instead of candy seems an invitation for tricks, drawing a pumpkin face on them is actually kind of cute. Hand them out to your friends, peel them slowly while making mock dying noises and cursing the world and those around you, I don’t care what you do with them. But seriously, how can you say no to this little face. 
Source: Popsugar
Glow-in-the dark stickers/tattoos – Tacky? Yes. Annoying to take off? Sure. But it’s Halloween, man. Indulge in your childish side – more than you already have putting on a wild costume and partying until you can’t say BOO — and slap on one of those tattoos. Or better yet, slap it on a friend, sit back and time how long it takes them to notice.
So before you go and egg the old man's house, just think about the message he's trying to send. Maybe he's Gary, and he doesn't want kids celebrating Satan on All Hallow's Eve. Or maybe he's just a grumpy old man. But you can go to CVS and pick up a back of candy whenever you want. When else can you eat clementines with cute little pumpkin faces on them and slap on a spider tattoo without looking like a lunatic?
(The answer is never.)
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