The layers of your Onyen

The Onyen. The Only Name You’ll Ever Need. 

The most confusing concept to an incoming first-year. “What? My onion? I mean there were a few onions in my sandwich but I didn’t think my breath was that bad…” 

No, sweet first-years, the Onyen is much different than the globular vegetable that apparently makes you cry when you slice it open. But maybe not that much different, because there is still a high chance that you will cry when you have to use your Onyen.

The Onyen (for any non UNC students) is our username and password that gets us into all of our Important UNC Websites like Heelmail, Sakai (class websites) and Connect Carolina. 

Though our username stays the same, we have to change our password every three months. Every three months. It’s for security reasons of course. The world would plunge into a spiraling pit of doom if anyone saw what the syllabus was for your English 130 class on Sakai.

Though password changing may seem cumbersome (especially when you forget to change it and get locked out of everything you need to function as a UNC student), I see it as a glorious opportunity to entertain myself. 

My passwords have a consistent theme. They always have to be Harry Potter related. I am a painfully enthusiastic Harry Potter fan. I’m both proud and embarrassed to admit that I have a Pottermore account (Ravenclaws lemme hear you make some noise!) and on two of the four breaks last year, I visited Harry Potter world.

The point being: my Onyen passwords are always dorky enough to give me a good giggle as I login in to my various UNC Internet homes. It’s very important for my mental health honestly — I can ease myself into the subsequent shock of my tuition bill on Connect Carolina with a reminder that Sirius Black has swag. 

Surprisingly, I’m not the only one who has created a secret theme for myself; a lot of people do it. 

Samantha Blum, a sophomore at UNC, has set all of her passwords as the name of rappers. Some of the hip hop stars that made the cut are Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, Trey Songs, Shwayze and Jason Derulo ~Beluga Heights~.

Patricia Sahhar, another sophomore here, always makes her password a bible verse that has been on her mind recently. 

Jon Alliss, a junior, always has a password about his family. 

Sophomore John Paul Zalaquett’s password always includes his name.

Junior Sarah Kowalski always has a “low-key” theme of meals in her passwords. As the trustworthy Ron Swanson said, “There has never been a sadness that can’t be cured by breakfast food,” or by making your Onyen password about breakfast food.

Kiana Cole, a sophomore, says that she has differing themes depending on what she specifically delights in during that time of her life. For example, her passwords have skirted many themes including the Super bowl, Peru, and the Broadway musical "Pippin."

If you were looking for a way to make someone truly happy, I would argue that you need not look any farther than his or her Onyen password. It’s a pairing of words and numbers that one has to type every single day for three months — what a person chooses as their password theme really says a lot about them. 

I can tell that Samantha has a considerable amount of swag. I have a feeling that John Paul’s favorite song is "Love Myself" by Hailee Steinfeld. Are you thinking of taking Sarah Kowalski on a date? Take that girl to a meal, brother!

If you haven’t tailored your Onyen password to its full entertainment potential yet, I highly recommend that you do. It’ll be the silliest secret you’ll ever have keep. I will always be thankful for the reminder that I gave myself about Hermione’s cat, Crookshanks. Be you. Be[onyen]cé.