The beginner’s guide to moms who Snapchat

We all know (or are fortunate enough to have) that Cool Mom a.k.a. Mrs. George in the 2004 Tina Fey Classic: Mean Girls. 

She’s totes hip: she drinks Pumpkin Spice Lattes on the daily (but exclusively refers to them as “PSLs”), she uses hashtags in her Facebook posts, she drops #trendy words like “turnt”, “fleek” and “thirsty”, she Keeps Up with the Kardashians, she can probably twerk and, of course, she has recently ditched Facebook and Twitter for her new favorite social media platform: Snapchat.

Moms who Snapchat are a rare, yet beautiful breed. Any millennial who groans at the prospect of his/her mom getting a Snapchat clearly does not comprehend the kind of quality entertainment that only a child of a Mom who Snapchats can receive. Newly Snapchatting Moms are precious, technologically-impaired toddlers, grappling with complex, theoretical equations that utilize complicated variables such as the sought after “Snap Streaks”, the renowned “Best Friends List”, the elusive “Needs Love List” and of course the who-actually-uses-this “Discover Tab”.

Now, you may be asking, who are these Moms who Snapchat??? Where can I find them??? How can I understand them???? Do these moms have a disease, and if so what are the symptoms?????

Conveniently, for all of you out there who are not fortunate enough to have a Mom who Snapchats, I have compiled the Beginner’s Guide to Moms who Snapchat (feat. screenshots from my very own Mom who Snapchats):

• She screenshots and/or replays everything because either: A. She has come to terms with the fact that she can’t read the caption in the 10 seconds allotted, or B. she needs to view the Snapchat later after she has time to put on her glasses.
• She has no idea how to take videos. Or, in the rare case of my own Mom who Snapchats: she can only take videos. Pictured: a screenshot from a live-motion Date Night Video-Selfie. #RelationshipGoals

• When you call her, the first thing she says is, “Did you get my snapchat!?!?!”
• She doesn’t know how to type in captions, so she writes out entire messages using the drawing tool. Pictured: a screenshot of a 10-second snap-video of King Donald Trump during the CNN GOP debate)

• Whenever you snapchat her a picture with a geotag, she asks you how you got that “pretty picture” at the bottom of the screen.
• She sends you very unflattering snaps because she assumes that they will disappear into some digital black hole after ten seconds. But alas! The screenshot does, in fact, exist!! Pictured: a snapchat from my mom before she knew screenshotting was a thing (I have blurred out her face as to prevent ostracism from my family unit.)

• You have considered blocking her from viewing your MyStory in fear of accidental self-incrimination, but eventually, you realize that she has no idea how to view your MyStory.

MWS (Mom who Snapchats): Did you have fun last night?

You: *panics* Um, did you see my MyStory!?!?! (in which you were, hypothetically, chugging a certain liquid out of a snorkel)

MWS: No, how do I look at that!?

You: *sigh of relief*