Six things to do now that nobody lives on campus

Now is the perfect time to pounce, on-campus residents.

After the closing of Stacy and Everett Residence Halls, you should have realized a profound thing about living on campus at UNC in 2015 — pretty much nobody wants to. 

For those who have escaped the brick sidewalk entrapments, kudos to you.

For those who are still living on campus, here’s a list of things you can do now that nobody lives on campus:

1. Since you don’t have a roommate, turn your second closet into a pantry or linen closest and stock up!
2. Two is better than one. Bunk both of your beds to use space efficiently and turn the bottom bunk into a couch — throw pillows and all!
3. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. Do you know what that means? It means you can wait until all 64 of your Carolina blue cups, which you scavenge from football games, are dirty before washing even one of them.
4. Beggars can’t be choosers, but when you’re the only one on campus you get to be a privileged chooser. Avoid the washing machine with "The Walking Dead" lighter and single white bendy straw in it! Have your pick of washers and dryers.
5. Be your own boss. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?” This is a question you’ll never have to answer to your thoughtful but nosy roommate.
6. Netflix binge without headphones. Enough said.

If I’m honest, I didn’t want to live on-campus either. I longed for the days of hanging a hand towel up in my own bathroom instead of cranking a paper towel dispenser to dry my hands with strange smelling brown paper.

But for now, I’m content.

Plus, if people moving off-campus is the reason for forcing Breadmen’s to relocate, the classic Chapel Hill restaurant, then I want no part of it.

Yours truly,

Class of 2016 Self-Proclaimed On-Campus Advisor