In honor of Single Awareness Day (or Valentine’s Day, as all the loving couples like to call it) CVS, Walgreens and retailers across the country are discounting their chocolate hearts and gummy kisses to make room for the painted eggs and fluffy marshmallow chicks that are just around the corner.
For those of you with an eye for discount candy, this is your time to shine. But for those of you who are already stuffed from the All-You-Can-Eat chocolate gorgefest that is Valentine’s Day, I’ve got a couple things you can do with all that extra candy.
5. Strategic candy placement.
If you want to make it seem like you’ve got more sweethearts than you actually have (or if you want to make it seem like you’ve got any at all) you can buy yourself some candy and place it strategically around your room or in your classes so you can pretend to be fawned over like true young love.
4. Make a portrait out of yourself out of leftover M&M’s and Sweet Tart Hearts.
It would be creepy and sticky and probably kind of gross after a while — like Christmas gingerbread houses left out until New Year’s — but you could still do it and I promise I wouldn’t judge. Much.
3. Make poems out of the candy hearts.
It won’t be the most eloquent or even literate poem in all creation, but you know what they say, Anything. Can be. SLAM. Poe-try. If you. Read it. LIKE this.
2. Bribery.
Be like a dragon and hoard all the candy until you’re sitting on a veritable mountain of chocolate-y goodness. Then when your roommates are practicing for Dance Marathon at 3 a.m. you can bribe them to shut up and go to sleep. Giving them candy to go to sleep might be a little counterintuitive, but eh, semantics.
1. Start Week of Kindness pt. 2
You can make like a Sigma and give candy to people in the Pit. But make sure you tell people where it came from else they might just think you’re a crazy kid handing out candy. Which you are, but at least you have good intentions.
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