I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there seems to be a lot of negativity on campus lately. A lot of hurt feelings and mixed emotions and just general ill will floating about. It’s like UNC’s feng shui is off and I don’t think moving around some furniture is going to help.
Now, I’ll admit there are definitely some things we can all agree to hate — Mondays, bananas, Duke football — that said, things aren’t nearly as black and white as they seem and one person’s pile of garbage may be another’s palace of peace.
I’m not in the business of pointing fingers, and I’m certainly not trying to make others feel bad by calling them out, but I just wanted to write a piece to give some perspective on things.
Your viewpoint isn’t everything. Everyone does things for a reason. Sometimes those reasons are inscrutable and seemingly crazy, but that doesn’t mean there are any better than yours.
There are several nice clichés that could illustrate my point nicely, but I’m not going to waste your time or mine. Just take a look at the other side of the argument before you go spewing hate on someone’s point of view. Play devil’s advocate if you have to, I don’t care, but unless you’ve got a good reason for hating someone — and I mean a good reason like they killed your father or ran over your cat — try thinking about their side of things before you charge in guns blazing.
Be a ray of sunshine, not a thundercloud. If you can see the good in things, talk about that. If you can look at a pile of garbage and talk about the mulch it can be turned into or the parts of it that can be recycled or the grassy field the trash that goes to the landfill will one day turn into, talk about that instead of what you know is bad.
Everyone can look at something and see the bad. But it takes a rare and special person to see the good in things, the light in people, and the kindness behind a small gesture. If you can be that person, always be that person.
Smile more. Your smile could mean the difference between a good day and a bad one for someone. Smiles from complete strangers have always brightened my day and I know they do yours, so why don’t you try being on the giving end rather than the receiving one. Always, always smile more. Unless you’re Grumpy Cat. Then you can frown all you want to because you’re still making people happy.
Chill out. This deserves a thousand exclamation marks, size 20 font and a neon text color. Your anger isn’t going to benefit anyone. No matter your intentions, no matter your goodwill or your justifications, getting angry isn’t going to help anyone.
Getting angry and leaving passive aggressive notes for your roommate isn’t going to help. Getting angry and talking bad about your professor behind her back isn’t going to help. Getting angry — getting bitter — and attacking someone based on unfounded claims is definitely, definitely not going to help.
Think before you speak. This goes hand in hand with my earlier point, but it bears saying. Give yourself a second, one measly fraction of a moment, before you speak, before you write, before you post. Because that one second, that one moment may give you enough time to stop yourself, to check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Think about whether or not you’d want to say whatever your thinking to your mom. Think about whether or not you’d want to say it to your best friend. Your boyfriend. Your professor. Yourself.
If it’d make you cry, don’t say it. If it would make you upset or angry or any other unhappy emotion, don’t. Say. It. It’s a whole lot harder to be nice than it is to be mean, but just think about if you were on the receiving end and try to reevaluate your standards.
So if you ever feel like you want to rain on someone’s parade, think about me, or at least think about this post. I know a simple blog post won’t stop you from hating if you’re determine to hate, but at the very least I hope it eats away at your conscious or reminds you that other people don’t always deserve your cruelty.
As for those of you who have ever been on the receiving end of someone else’s ire, T-Swift said it best. Just shake it off, shake it off.
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