Even if you start your math homework at 3 p.m., it is not going to get finished until after midnight. For the sake of your well being and the well being of those around you, there is always something better to do than your math homework.
I’m here to tell you that that’s OK. I’m here to tell you to avoid math homework at all costs! These are 10 things that the universe wants you to do instead of your math homework:
1. Face-in-hole. Seriously just browse through these; it’s an important part of being a mediocre internet user. Yesterday I put my friend’s face in a picture of Dolly Parton. He was thrilled. Use your procrastination to bring joy to others!
2. Hit that headstand. Headstands are fun because they are impossible. It will take you so long to master it and so much blood will have rushed to your head that you’ll forget about your homework completely. Also it’s a yoga pose, so it should make you look cool. Post pics on insta!
3. Look up all of the Google doc animals. You know how when it gets to the night before the test and there are SO MANY animals, all anonymous? What sort of secrets do those mysterious anonymous animals harbor? Anonymous pumpkin, anonymous Kraken, anonymous chameleon — these are important to dedicate your time and efforts to.
4. Laugh at all the pictures of girls on boys’ shoulders from when we beat dook because if you sat on a boy’s shoulders his spine would collapse. Haha.
5. Learn to play the harmonica. Truly an underrated instrument. Don’t worry about completing your math homework so that you can pass calculus class and graduate, if you learn to play the harmonica you will be invaluable in the job market. It’s an acquired skill.
6. Read the entire Webster’s dictionary. In third grade, I knew a girl who did this for fun.
7. Create a Toon Town account. Club penguin is so mainstream.
8. Complain about your math homework.
9. Learn every lyric to American Pie. This song is eight minutes long.
10. Write a blog about not doing your math homework. This one really works everyone! Its midnight and I haven’t started even started my three Webassign assignments.
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