Researchers at UNC have recently found themselves intrigued by the myth surrounding the Old Well’s drinking water. According to legend, taking a sip from the well on the first day of class will undoubtedly set you on track for a perfect 4.0 semester.
A team of graduate students from the chemistry department decided to determine the scientific credibility of the magical well water.
Beginning in 2013, the team gathered hundreds of samples for testing. They made sure to collect well water on the first day of class of every semester for special analysis.
Their lab filled up with test tubes containing what appeared to be simple H2O, dihydrogen monoxide.
“We received a lot of judgement from other researchers in the chemistry department,” said one of the team members. “They liked to tell us that they didn’t consider our study to be real science. They thought that we were just collecting water from the Old Well for some sentimental purpose.”
However, the sneering that this brave group of students received from their peers proved to be unmerited. The results of the experiment were shocking.
Because the team was not exactly sure what they were looking for in their test results, they decided to just run every test that they had access to. Again, the chemistry department was not thrilled at this use of its resources.
When comparing the samples collected throughout the year to those collected on the first day of each semester, slight differences were detected in the water’s chemical composition.
The well water that UNC students drink before diving into a semester of new classes contains a special, unique element. Upon close analysis, the researchers noticed strange abnormalities in the water molecules from these samples. They were elated to have discovered a new chemical element.
“I honestly have not stopped smiling since that moment,” the head researcher told us, “We are living the dream of every chemist. Life really doesn’t get better than this. I just love science, man.”
The super chemists are now working on the next step of their research: What exactly is this element? And what are its effects on humans?
They expect to discover that the element launches a certain reaction in the brain and that, whatever the reaction may be, leads to a more successful semester for those who get their beloved sip of well water.
As these dedicated UNC students delve into the water source of our university, all we can do is be thankful for the blessing of the Old Well. It is home to a brand-spanking-new chemical element.
And yes, the team does have a name for their fantastic discovery: Oldwellium.
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