The UNC shuffleboard team advanced to the NCAA shuffleboard championship following a decisive win over the University of Florida Sunday.
When asked about the win, shuffleboard team captain Chris Hardin said “Seriously? That match was two weeks ago.”
Henry Kirkland, a senior on the team, added “Um. We already won the championship. We sent [The Daily Tar Heel] a full article about it. Already written. You did a six-page spread of Brice Johnson’s favorite foods instead.”
The University of Florida’s shuffleboard team has won the NCAA title for the last eleven years. “They have open tryouts and a lot of old people live in Florida. Old people love shuffleboard,” said Hardin.
Hardin continued to say that the absence of Florida’s captain, Harold Williams, played a big part in the win. “He moved to Arizona to hang out with his grandkids more. Also, he said the humidity was bad for his heart. Whatever that means.”
Shuffleboard isn’t typically the highlight of an athletics program, but Kirkland says the sport is on the rise. “On average I think we sell five tickets, and at least two of those go to my parents.”
To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.
