It’s Earth Day!
For all of you people who have recently adopted tree-hugging because it’s cool to be into sustainability in college, here is how veteran tree huggers celebrate the holiday:
No showers!! Come on people, don’t you know that every minute of a shower uses the equivalent of 12 water bottles? That is what a sticker in the shower of Aycock dorm told me. Reduce your water use and completely skip showering today! You will stink but you’re greasy hair will just make you look more hipster.
Eat only off of trees. The amount of energy and water that goes into growing and processing our food is extreme. The transportation of our food to us contributes massively to pollution. That is why, on Earth Day, we eat from the trees!
It is super tasty: just peel off a slab of bark from the nearest trunk, maybe add some color to your meal with a couple of freshly picked leaves. It’s not as bad as it sounds. I heard in times of hardship that the pioneers would eat coral.
Drink only rain water. We are lucky that it is raining buckets today or else we would be very thirsty haha.
Don’t wear shoes; you’ll be more connected with Mother Nature that way. Don't wear clothes either.
And there you have it! That is how real down-to-Earth people get down on Earth day. If you want to be cool and granola, you should do these things today too! Enjoy your zero waste day, Tar Heels!
To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.
