How to get a date for formal

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: formal season! *winks* *heel clicks* *falls on face* Even for those of us not involved in Greek life, our organizations still manage to force us to go to one of these formal events. And these events normally implicitly require that we bring a date.

Are you #stressed about finding a date for your formal that is this Friday? Have you waited until the last minute to ask anyone because you literally do not possess any romantic interests? Do you not possess any romantic interests because you hate everyone?  Here are some ways to get a date to formal, while still keeping your cool-girl aesthetic and not appearing DESPERATE BECAUSE FORMAL IS IN 4 DAYS.

Make an event on Facebook named “Take insert name here to formal!” Invite all of your Facebook friends. They will immediately confirm that they are going, because that’s what everyone does these days. They will probably say that they are going to the event before they even read what the event is, which is exactly what you want!

Once they have confirmed, you have absolute proof of hundreds of dates! Congrats, take your pick! If they try to back out you can probably sue. 

Create a survey using Google forms and post it into the Overheard Facebook page. Post it with a caption that says “Hi everyone! It’s me. I have a super important survey I need some people to complete for a study.”

Then, have them fill out a survey with questions about themselves, chiefly Are you a good dancer? Then at the bottom of the survey in tiny, barely legible font ask the question, Will you please go to my formal with me? With a check box for either “accept” or “decline.” They cannot submit the form until they have clicked “accept.”

Here’s a hip pop culture reference! Have you guys ever seen that episode of "That’s So Raven" where the exchange student keeps giving Raven random objects and then it turns out he was proposing?? I feel like this strategy could be very useful in our situation.

So, you stand in the pit during class change, bobbing through the sea of possible formal dates. When you find a suitor that catches your eye, run up to him and offer him a feather (per "That’s So Raven.") If he accepts it from you, you are one step closer to having a date. But don’t start celebrating just yet.

Now, the next step is to wait about a day, then get him to accept a seashell. Since this suitor is probably a stranger, this might be hard to accomplish without following him around, I guess. 

OKAY. Were making a modification. You hand him the feather AND the shell at the same time! If he accepts them, you have full copyrighted access to his soul! Also, it is possible that you are now engaged. However, I think that means that he is legally obligated to take you to your formal, so I would say that this has been a successful venture.