The Onyen is a satire blog and is for entertainment purposes only. All names, references and quotes are made-up.
Barbara Madre signed up for Facebook two years ago.
Since then, we can tell from Barbara’s posts that her life has been absolutely flawless. She’s always having fun going out with friends and family.
Dinner parties, neighborhood potlucks, the scrapbook committee of the local PTA — Barbara has it all.
But she’s most proud to be a mother of her two sons, Dylan and Ryan.
Dylan and Ryan are perfect angels.
Madre posted a picture of Dylan’s middle school report card last week. She wrote, “All B’s and only one B minus! He’ll be the next Einstein, for sure! He gets it all from his father, of course!"
Ryan is a sophomore at the nearby Carolina College, and she also posts about him quite a bit, though it’s so sad that her baby isn’t around the house anymore!
“But I’m still happy for him anyway,” Madre said. “He’ll be studying abroad in Canada this fall! I can’t wait to share every picture he posts!”
Until then, Barbara plans to continue to keep her Facebook friends with peppy updates of her exciting, social life.
“That’s the whole point of Facebook, isn’t it?” She said. “I love showing my friends how much fun I’m having. It makes me feel so much better about myself!”
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