You Asked for It receives a lot of pleas for advice that we just can’t answer in print, usually due to length or profanity or — one time — the fact that the submission is not a question at all, but simply a link to a YouTube survival tutorial on how to cook an egg in a potato.
But we’re dedicated to helping you with your weirdest, scariest and most personal queries no matter what.
So here are a few previously unseen gems from the vault. Which we keep closed, locked and guarded by mountain trolls. Because not all of our questions are fit for print. Especially not these.
The concerning
You: Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming at the deep-seated realization that I am but a speck of dust on a dying rock hurtling through a dying galaxy. Why?
YAFI: That’s weird, dude.
You: I can't stop listening to Taylor Swift. Help?!
YAFI: This doesn’t seem to be a problem. It’s miserable and magical, oh yeah.
The unacceptable
You: …why does this atrocity of a column exist?
YAFI: Well, when two wannabe comedians love each other very, very much...
You: Why has the state of journalism deteriorated over the past 50 years? Why have print news sources, instead of focusing on making sure important issues are addressed, resorted to serving as eye candy by covering light stories and killing trees to print more pages instead of covering important events and making the paper shorter?
YAFI: ¯\_(?)_/¯
The WTF
You: I think I may have swallowed a moth in my sleep. What should I do?
YAFI: Nurse it within your abdomen, and let it feed on your very breath until it knocks about your ribcage, ready to re-emerge, blinking and wailing in the sun?
You: If Lena Dunham were a taco, what taco would she be?
YAFI: Spicy Potato Soft Taco.
You: http://youtu.be/ZzUXHE1Frr4
YAFI: …
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