Assistant copy editor Danny Nett of Olde Campus Upper Quad was the only person* brave enough to face the fierce Chapel Hill Snowpocalypse and head to The Daily Tar Heel office, inspiring N.C. Senator Jeff Jackson to do the same in the legislature, probably.
When Nett showed up to the office, it felt about as empty as his Tinder inbox. He answered a few calls.
He decided to take advantage of the newfound freedom and take more than the allotted portion of M&Ms.
There was not a lot of debate in budget today. It slid by without a hitch.
As a matter of fact, everyone who showed up had the same priority in mind.
Since he has not reported since fall semester, pulling a story together was a bit difficult.
He received an anonymous tip from a trustworthy source, and from there the paper pretty much wrote itself.
You could even say it was a real party.
Nett had nothing to do with the devolution of the office into a playroom, but the menagerie of toys in front shop soothed his loneliness during his diligent work.
He took the opportunity to do a front page redesign using the Microsoft Word skills he bragged about on his LinkedIn profile.
He used the Visual Desk's camera to take a new professional headshot.
Equipped with a new glamor shot, Nett sought inspiration for his debut column in the Opinion room and found like $1.43 in change.
He remedied an AP style issue that has long bothered him in his tenure as a copy assistant.
Finally, he brought the DTH's online presence into the 20th century with a total makeover. It's now co-hosted by MySpace and the year 2006.
*He was not actually the only person in the office today. Honestly, he really didn't do anything at all. Huge thank you to the dedicated staff members putting out this week's papers and braving the storm out-of-staters are lauding as "literally only half an inch."
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