Alison Krug (senior) and Kiana Cole (acceptance pending) are the (new!) writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
You: I’m new at UNC and have a basic question: How do I take over a satirical advice column dynasty?
You Asked for It: Making friends at a new school can be tough, but a classic way to find your place on a big campus is by executing a coup of an established advice column, answering the University’s most pressing questions with confidence that is disproportionate to your actual expertise.
We’re hoping to lead by example, as this is a situation you’ll probably find yourself in, too. Today marks our inauguration as the voices of You Asked for It, joining the ranks of UNCelebrities such as Vice Crispy, the boy who used to juggle on Hooker Fields, the Pit Preacher and any Rams Head Dining Hall worker who turns a blind eye when you sneak out upwards of 50 cookies in an ornamental tin.
In the style of other UNCecret societies like The Order of Gimghoul and the UNC Quidditch Team, we gathered for our induction ceremony.
Twas an affaire moste secret betwixt the hallowed parking spaces of Ye Olde Dailye Tare Heele.
Draped in secrecy and shrouded in the darkness of The Daily Tar Heel’s fire escape, we joined the voluminous, expansive, esteemed ranks of the two YAFI columnists who came before us.
Declaring yourselves the overall arbiters of what is good advice can be daunting, especially when you’re following in the advice columnist-sized footsteps of the creators of classics such as the “Which member of the UNC academic scandal are you?” quiz.
In this spirit of remembrance, we gathered for a moment of silence to honor the two graduated-but-not-forgotten founders of YAFI who graced us with WRALentines Day, better icebreaker answers and tractors full of N.C. State hate mail.
We’re looking forward to another year of pristine advice. Send us your questions, UNC, whether by filling out our Google form, by DM or by telling Chancellor Carol Folt™ so she’ll pass it along to us.
We’d prefer by Google form.
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