You Asked for It: In which we motivate you for midterms and survive the cold

You Asked for It: In which Alison misses Kiana and learns Photoshop

You Asked for It: In which we go to the State Fair and plan a lackluster Fall Break

You Asked for It: In which we impress professors and sneak gerbils into our dorm

Quiz: What is your UNC patronus?

Find your unofficial UNC patronus/nontrademarked protection mammal here.

You Asked for It: In which we keep cool and retroactively tackle Family Weekend

You Asked For It: In which we head abroad from the comfort of our own office

You Asked For It: In which we fill your free time and shriek into the void

You Asked for It: In which we get you that sweet, sweet 4.0 and break the ice

Kiana Cole (leaving to study abroad) and Alison Krug (a broad) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You Asked For It: In which we solve your glandular and culinary deficiencies

Kiana Cole (only child) and Alison Krug (mother of three) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column

You Asked for It: In which we are inducted as the new Rulers Supreme of a satire column

You Asked For It: In which we go on and remember all the times we had together

Drew Goins (goodbye, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu) and Kelsey Weekman (HAGS) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You Asked for It: In which we warm up our vocal cords and evade taxes

Drew Goins (Drexit) and Kelsey Weekman (Kegs-Hit) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You Asked for It: In which we rack up University and face toner costs

Kelsey Weekman (Dr Pepper with vanilla and a splash of peach Fanta) and Drew Goins (water with lemon) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You Asked for It: In which we answer your questions live, sort of

The stars of You Asked for It finally answer your insane advice submissions, and now you can see their faces moving while they do it.

You Asked for It: In which we find ways to move on after basketball season ends

Kelsey Weekman (happiest she’s ever been to stare at the cardboard backing of a picture frame for eternity) and Drew Goins (third or fourth happiest he’s ever been to stare at the cardboard backing of a picture frame for eternity) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You Asked for It: In which we help you evolve into the final form Tar Heel fan

Kelsey Weekman (Joel James eating imaginary oatmeal) and Drew Goins (Luke Maye stirring Joel’s imaginary oatmeal for him from the bench so it doesn’t get lumpy) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You Asked for It: In which we support your diet and allude to houses made of candy

Kelsey Weekman (Flamin’ Hot Cheetos) and Drew Goins (stale Bugles) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You Asked for It: In which we survive spring break and dull your competitive edge

Kelsey Weekman (Ice Cube in “Ride Along”) and Drew Goins (Ice Cube in “Are We There Yet 2”) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.

You Asked for It: In which we participate in class and teach you to use mad swipes

Kelsey Weekman (#SoWhite) and Drew Goins (the first openly LGBT man to write an advice column, he decided) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.