Ashley Stephenson

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Kolumnist Bids Farewell, Offers Dos, Don'ts

By Ashley Stephenson | April 30

I'm starting to feel the first pangs of separation anxiety.We're breaking up, dear reader. And no, that doesn't mean we can still go out.In the real world, I could fake a pregnancy to keep you around, to force you into commitment. Sadly, in the cutthroat, dog-eat-dog business of journalism, a gurgling tot does not lengthen the shelf lives of columnists.But I'm a tough cookie. Sure I'll spend some time whoring my columns out to other newspapers. That's phase one.

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UNC Peeps Must Unite To Fight Cuts

By Ashley Stephenson | April 23

The University is in dire straits.I only wish I were talking about the dynamic music group that spawned such hits as "Money for Nothing" (I Want My MTV) and "Walk of Life."Late last week, the legislature's Joint Appropriations Subcommittee on Education (read: Raleigh hooligans) gave the word that our fine institution would need to do a little belt tightening in the name of budget cuts to the ugly tune of $25 million -- quite a hefty price from our lawmakers who have long promised to prioritize higher education.

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Drinking Policy Murky, Ignores Real Problems

By Ashley Stephenson | April 16

Students have always relished their first tastes of freedom in a Budweiser.Finally out from under the watchful eye of mom and dad, UNC freshmen have embraced the promise of UNC, where Purple Jesus is born in multigallon trash cans and the wine flows like, well, wine.Many learn the fast lesson that even though parental discipline is miles away, the University police are right around the corner to pick up where the precious 'rents left off. Those meant to serve and protect you now take the form of demons who deny and destroy your beer.Two students early last week got pinched.

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Where Do I Fit Into Campus Race Debate?

By Ashley Stephenson | April 9

This is a hard column to write.I had planned to take a side on the blistering debate surrounding David Horowitz's ad, the protests against the naming of Saunders Hall and the charges that institutional racism at UNC is alive and well.I'm having a hard time doing it -- mostly because I'm white.And because of that, it's hard to figure out my place in this debate. It's hard to figure out what I have a right to think and say because I'm white.

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Old-School TV More Important Than CAA Bill

By Ashley Stephenson | April 2

I'm losing faith in our student body president. Brad Matthews is all set to sign legislation that will give Student Congress oversight of the Carolina Athletic Association. I was hoping Matthews would spend his time more usefully, perhaps by cracking a beer and hunkering down for a night of "Diff'rent Strokes" reruns.Last Tuesday night, in a really surprising landslide vote of 17-1, Congress decided to place the CAA under its control. It also voted to censure the CAA and urge future Congress chumps to investigate the past two administrations.

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UNC Officials Should Oversee CAA Activities

By Ashley Stephenson | March 26

This business with the Carolina Athletic Association is getting tired.It ain't Watergate, people. CAA Prez Tee-Boz Pruitt is not Nixon minus the jowls. I haven't heard about a secret taping system in the Student Union. And a character named after a porn film has not yet been introduced into the melee. (Although an anonymous informant named John Holmes or "Debbie Does Dallas" would make things more interesting.) But the uproar on campus makes you wonder why The Washington Post hasn't picked up the story.

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Estroff Way Off With Criticism Of Speaker Pick

By Ashley Stephenson | March 19

Shame on Sue Estroff.Before we left for Spring Break, the chairwoman of the Faculty Council was busy badmouthing our graduation speaker.And that just ain't right.Estroff told The Chapel Hill News that UNC's choice of Stuart Scott, ESPN funkmaster and sportscaster, rubbed her the wrong way. She disapproved."I'm disappointed," she said. "It has to do with my views about the nature of the (Commencement) ceremony.

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Scott Kicks Past Grad Speakers In the Head

By Ashley Stephenson | March 5

Kudos to the senior class officers for finally getting it right.Stuart Scott is speaking at graduation, a man who is as cool as the other side of the pillow.The people will come in droves, I predict, filling nearly every seat in Kenan Stadium, ears pricked in anticipation for what words of wisdom might tumble forth from the lips of the best announcer, bar none, on ESPN.Seniors from the days of yesteryear will no doubt curse the academic aptitude that allowed them to graduate before May 2001. And they have good reason to.

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CAA Hopefuls: Use Last Days To Get Dirty

By Ashley Stephenson | February 26

I've watched the race for Carolina Athletic Association president unravel with a mixture of amusement and dismay.It hasn't been pretty. Most of it borders on downright ridiculous, what with the nefarious e-mails, accusations and the use of the phrase "smoking gun." The aftermath of said nonsense has resulted in hearings with the Board of Elections, a violations and a re-election.The two chief players are candidates Reid Chaney and Michael Songer. At the crux of their platforms and this debacle was Carolina Fever.

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Vote Ashley For `Super-Fly' SBP Position

By Ashley Stephenson | February 19

I'm announcing my bid for student body president.It is time to abandon my position of the semiprofessional critic and jump into the melee, with hopes that my ideas and visions will be just what this campus has been waiting for.Many moons have been spent in this very space denouncing the student body president post. It was tempting to do so again this week.