Sydney Baker is the 2024-2025 assistant opinion editor. She is a sophomore majoring in journalism and English with a minor in screenwriting.
"Last week, UNC’s interim director of access services announced steps University Libraries would be taking to essentially ban the biannual unspoken campus event: the Davis streak."
"The MAGA preacher sparked theatrics and our more familiar Pit preachers are usually ignored — so why do they continue coming to our campus?"
"The world found out shortly before 11 a.m. Eastern Time on March 15 that Lee Roberts was changing his staple swoop that was, until now, delicately greased over to the side. I, however, knew 12 hours before he stepped out of South Building that this was coming. This is because Lee Roberts accidentally texted me this plan at 11 p.m. the night before."
"Just like the Rameses mascots revealed themselves as the end of the semester approaches, I feel that it’s the right time for me to reveal my own identity — I am UNC's official music curator, responsible for all the melodies you hear in every corner of our university."
"I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner every day at Lenoir last week to study how Gordon Ramsay would improve the UNC dining experience. He started off mildly insulting students at the escalators who were standing instead of walking up the moving stairs, saying 'Maybe if you all walked up the escalator and lost some weight, it wouldn’t break every other day from how fat you all are.'"
"Why is nobody in their Instagram comment sections questioning these obviously fake headlines? Why is nobody challenging the clearly photoshopped pictures?"
"I’ve compiled a comprehensive inventory of what I’ve been working on — try to not get too jealous."
"While most of them were away boogieing wit da Hoodie, I was renting their tenting, breaking into tents to see what I could find. This isn’t exactly how I pictured the living conditions of students who pay over $65,000 in tuition a year."
"So why would newspapers bother with opinion sections when we no longer live in an age where people have few options for authoritative viewpoints?"
"Generation Alpha was thrusted into a world of social media and technology, and that is not their fault. And though parents can’t control the world they bring their children into, they can take measures to protect them from it."
